Re-Energized, And Loving It

Alright! I seem to have found my long lost stores of energy and motivation. Where I currently live at, I do not have many friends. They all have their own lives and seem quite busy for the most part. So here I sat with little to no social life, and wondering what I was going to do with my life.

So, thinking this may have been one of the reasons for my latest blue mood, I decided to go see my parents and some great friends and see if it would help. After a week spent away from home, I come back, somewhat relaxed, energized and motivated. I seem to have found myself again! I am starting to tackle cleaning (something I've been wanting to do, but never had the drive for) and found something new to learn. I'll be elaborating on that one later.

The friend I went to see also ruined my ability to stay in our dark apartment all day long. My mother always said people need sunlight, and staying at my friend's place, who could never seem to get enough of that light, seem to have made me used to it. Now I find myself looking around our dark apartment and finding it too gloomy. So, I went hunting for our white curtains, and put them in place to be able to stay by my computer and enjoy the outside light. I wonder how my darkness-loving boyfriend will react to that... Guess we shall see!

Take care, people! And get some sun!

Tina

Resuming The Quest For Happiness

After many months of hiatus, I return to the blog with a new desire to write. Apologies for the long delay!

It has been pointed out to me that I have been getting depressed again lately. But this time, I have no job dragging me down. However, it seems that my job search has me a bit bothered (fear of getting another stressful job, perhaps?), and I have been getting bored at home. I have been doing some thinking as to what may have been gnawing at me lately, and have been unable to figure out what. Today, something hit me: Why search for the negative when I can spend my time and energy creating more positive?

Hmm, I seem to recall coming to this conclusion several months back when my doctor stopped me from working. Nevertheless, my reoccurring epiphany has prompted me to start looking for the little things in life that bring happiness. Hopefully I will stumble upon some big things along the way! Life has a tendency to make you forget about being happy. Thus I begin my quest to introduce happiness into every fiber of my being! I hope you'll tag along for the ride!

Tina

Wake-up Call

One movie I fell in love with when I first saw it is one most people have probably already heard about. The movie is James Cameron's Avatar. I just bought the Collector's Edition of the movie. I love seeing how special effects movies such as that one are made, and there were a lot of deleted scenes. It was expensive, and I was hoping it would be worth it. But there was something I wasn't expecting.

When I watched the movie, I saw the ugliness of mankind. The way some people will completely disregard nature, and destroy it if it will benefit them. I'm not talking about people clearing a plot of land to build themselves a house. I mean on a larger, industrial scale. I actually feel bad that I would not be able to discard my computer and PS3, and go out to live in nature with bows and arrows. I feel bad that we are so technologically advanced that most of us would no longer be able to live in tune with nature, to completely immerse our lives in it as we once were.

But I had labeled the movie as just that: a movie. I mean, as far as I was concerned, that was what mankind COULD become if we were not careful. But, with scientists warning us of the impact our actions have, with people fighting for the environment, we wouldn't fall back into that kind of greed, would we? We wouldn't go as far as ignoring a civilization for our personal benefit, would we? I know I am naive, and I was shown I am just that.

There was a video on those DVDs called "A Message From Pandora". In this video, James Cameron visited indigenous tribes in the forests of Brazil. Turns out, the industrial world was planning to build a dam in a river they were living by to generate electricity for them. This would cause their lands to be flooded, and they would have to leave their homes to live in other areas. It was the Avatar movie, only in real life.

It made me want to change things. As James Cameron had said: there are so many other ways to generate electricity that would not be harmful to the environment. Is it that those methods are not cost-effective? Too expensive to implement? Whatever the reason may be, those methods are being ignored, when really, we should be using them more.

I wanted to start my own company so I would have freedom in my career. I was also thinking that I could use any profits to make the world a better, greener place. Plant trees, finance projects to help the environment. When I ended up in a burnout because of my previous job, I lost the drive to work on it. Maybe this will kick-start it back. Being my own boss sounds good. But making a positive impact on the environment always sounded amazing to me.

Until the next post!

Tina

The Power Of Sound

Well, two days ago I had trouble sleeping, and woke up as cranky as could be. So after a few hours of dragging my feet and growling at anything that so much as looked at me funny, I figured the best idea was to go back to bed, take a nap and try to salvage what was left of my day. But once I cuddled up in those nice, warm blankets I love so much, I wasn't feeling any better. In my head were a swarm of negative thoughts. I tried to calm down and think happier thoughts, but no luck.

Then I had an idea. There is this application I downloaded on my iPod Touch one day as I was browsing through the random categories of apps. It was called Focus+, and it was free! So I had downloaded it, but never really used it. I reached for my iPod and started up the application. The sound I had chosen was called "Paradise". It is a wonderful blend of the sounds of flowing water (which I love) and birds. Those negative thoughts were instantly swept away. Instead, I pictured myself laying back in a lawn chair beside a crystal-clear river, surrounded by wonderfully bright exotic green leaves (with touches of blue and red) as birds in the trees sang happily. No creepy crawlies, no dangerous animals, no other people. Just... A wonderful, beautiful place to relax.

As I try to work on different things, I always feel the desire to pop in a movie or some episodes of a comedy series as I work. But as it provides some background sounds, it also provides distraction. So I will be looking for some background music to work to, and if I find anything that I greatly enjoy, I will be posting about it!

Tina

Time To Breathe

Here is something I had found interesting this week. I went to pay rent and brought my iPod Touch along to play music during the short walk to the office. Once I was outside, noticed that my iPod battery was dead. Since it was only a 2 minute walk, I shrugged and went without music. I had taken the habit of always bringing music with me whenever I went for a walk anywhere.

On my way out of the office, I decided that, on the short walk back, I would take a moment to look at my surroundings and appreciate nature. As you can guess by the layout, I love nature and all it has to offer. I figured I wouldn't have much to appreciate though, as I had lived in that area for two years, and walked in that area quite a few times. I thought that if there was something to appreciate, it would have been... appreciated already.

I saw this:


Now this may not look like much to most people, but I am a person who enjoys seeing opposites in one setting. I had to stop on the side of the road and stare at the way the leaves, most of which very much alive (I say most, as some can be seen affected by the chilly fall weather) hang around large, inanimate rocks. It fascinated me. But what fascinated me most: How did I not see this before?

I knew they were there. I had looked at them before in the countless times I had walked past. But I had not seen them. I had not taken the time to really see how everything fell together in this one scene. In today's world, I am so used to listening to music, to watch the road as I drive (which I'm still gonna do, nature or not!) or think about the day's tasks that I was looking at everything in life, but not seeing most of it.

So I decided that, regularly, I will take off the headphones, forget about society, and take a few moments just to see what is around me. Take a few moments just to breathe.

New Layout!

I had been working for the last few days on a header for this blog, stumbling my way through the Gimp software, and finally published my piece of work. Once it was up though, I found it was quite lacking. My idea was conveyed, yet poorly so. After publishing it, I started messing around with the design, only to find out that one of the templates there was pretty much the spitting image of my earlier thoughts. Only with much better quality.

So there you have it! A new template for the blog. I was hesitating on using a template, I was more interested in something a little more... personal. However I like this template very much, so thoughts of customizing this blog any further will be put on the back-burner.

Enjoy the new look! Until the next post!

From The Ground Up...

Well, it turns out my being "tired" was actually heading straight into a burnout. Circumstances surrounding this has led me to be jobless at the moment. So I am taking this opportunity to relax, re-energize and get my drive back. I was trying too hard to be productive when I first stopped, thinking this time off was the perfect time to get started on some projects I had, but that was my mistake. I was trying to create something out of nothing, and that nothing was my lack of energy.

So I stopped and did nothing. Yep, you heard me, nothing. For days I slept every afternoon, only to find out that after a week of taking naps, I didn't need them as much anymore. I stayed home and watched movies. And then, the best part: I went to pick up my boyfriend from work and he handed me a video game that was marked down that I had been eyeing for some time. I stared at it, and asked him: "Should I buy this? I know it is only 20$, but I don't have a job and am trying to save what money I have..." His reply: "You're supposed to be relaxing. You can't relax if you're bored all day at home."

This video game is Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility. A simple game on the Wii in which you are a young farmer who moves to an island in order to start a new life. You plant and grow crops to generate an income, which you can use to build a chicken coop and a barn, buy and take care of various animals, make friends with the townspeople and even seduce and marry the girl of your choice (or guy, but I find the girls more likeable).

In about 3 days of playing this game practically non-stop (I love the Harvest Moon games), I found myself to be more relaxed than I had been in ages. And today I found an inkling of that drive I was wishing for come back to me, hence me writing this post. I hope I have plenty more to post soon!

Take care, and remember to relax!

Tina